Slowing Down This Summer: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance

Written By Ashley Wise

When summer comes around, everything seems to invite us to slow down. Here in Sarasota, the heat rises, and thunderstorms roll in. School is out, and vacation photos flood our social feeds. It’s the season of rest, right?

But if you’re someone who has experienced trauma or chronic stress, rest might not feel relaxing. It might feel unfamiliar, or even unsafe.

In our trauma therapy work, we often talk about something called the Window of Tolerance, a helpful concept that can explain why slowing down is hard, and how learning to do it safely can support real healing.

What Is the Window of Tolerance?

The Window of Tolerance, a term developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, refers to the range of emotional and physical arousal where we feel regulated, calm, and able to cope with life. Inside the window, you can respond to stress with flexibility and clarity. You feel like you.

Outside the window? Your nervous system kicks into survival mode.

  • You might go into hyperarousal: feeling anxious, irritable, panicked, or overwhelmed

  • Or swing into hypoarousal: feeling numb, shut down, exhausted, or disconnected

Everyone has a different-sized window, and trauma tends to shrink it, making it harder to stay grounded and more likely you’ll flip into survival states even in everyday situations.

Learn more about the Window of Tolerance from NICABM

Why Trauma Survivors Struggle to Slow Down

If you grew up in chaos, had to stay hyper-alert to avoid danger, or survived something that overwhelmed your nervous system, being still might feel threatening. That’s not weakness. That’s your body trying to protect you.

You might:

  • Keep yourself busy to avoid feeling anxious

  • Struggle to rest without guilt

  • Freeze or shut down when you finally stop

  • Find “relaxing” situations (like vacation) strangely draining

In short: Rest requires safety, while trauma wires your body to stay on guard.

Summer Can Be an Opportunity to Heal

We’re not here to tell you to take a bubble bath and call it therapy. We’re here to suggest that summer’s natural rhythms of longer days, heat that slows the body, and seasonal shifts can support nervous system healing, if we approach it with care.

Here in Sarasota, that might look like:

  • Early morning beach walks to avoid the heat and engage your senses

  • Listening to a thunderstorm as a grounding activity instead of an anxiety trigger

  • Journaling or doodling indoors while your kids rest

  • Hydrating intentionally, using cold water as a sensory anchor

  • Spending time in nature at Myakka River or Selby Gardens

  • Practicing gentle breathwork or movement to stay in your body

Try This: Tuning Into Your Window

Take a few moments each day to check in:

  • Am I feeling in my window right now? (Calm, focused, emotionally present?)

  • If not, am I in hyper (racing thoughts, tight chest, irritability)

  • Or hypo (numb, flat, disconnected, sleepy)?

No judgment, just notice. Then, try a small activity to shift yourself gently back into your window.

Pro tip: It’s not about forcing yourself to calm down. It’s about giving your nervous system what it needs to feel safer over time.

When Rest Feels Too Hard, Therapy Can Help

If you’ve tried to slow down but find yourself anxious, overwhelmed, or numb, we see you. This is especially common in high-functioning adults with a trauma history. You may be successful on the outside, but constantly battling dysregulation within.

Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you:

  • Understand your nervous system responses

  • Learn tools to safely expand your window of tolerance

  • Experience rest, not just as a concept, but as a felt sense in your body

You Deserve a Summer of Healing

Healing doesn’t mean you’re never triggered. It means you learn how to come back to yourself, again and again, with more ease and self-compassion.

This summer, give yourself permission to pause, not perfectly, but gently.

And if you’d like support, we’re here.

At The Mindful Therapy Studio in Sarasota, our team of trauma-informed therapists helps adults and teens create real, lasting change through nervous system-based therapy. We offer a welcoming space where healing doesn’t feel rushed, and where slowing down is part of the process

Citations and Links

Ashley Wise
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